Maude and Elaine

ELAINE:  Mama, why don’t you come live with us?  You know Andy and I want you to.  I worry about you out there at that farm all alone.   What if something happened?  What if you fell?

MAUDE:  No, now, I’m fine.  I couldn’t do that.

ELAINE:  Why not?

MAUDE:  You and Andy don’t have much room.

ELAINE:  Mama, we’ve got three bedrooms and it’s just us!

MAUDE:  Well, your kids come to visit sometimes.  And you two are so busy.  Besides who would take care of the farm.  I can’t leave.  (Short pause.)  Mr. Johnson did bring a young couple out last Wednesday to look it over.

ELAINE:  Mr. Johnson’s your realtor?

MAUDE:  Uh-huh.

ELAINE:  Well . . . so you have thought about selling.

MAUDE:  Yeah.  Sometimes I think I need to move into town.  Be closer to my doctor.

ELAINE:  Well . . . what’d they think?   They interested in buying it?

MAUDE:  Mr. Johnson said they were interested, but cash-poor.

ELAINE:  Yeah . . . well . . . you could come on down here with us now.  Just leave the farm on the market.  Mr. Curtis works it now anyway, doesn’t he?  Just let him look in on the house occasionally.

MAUDE:  Well, if I just moved into town, I’d still have all my friends.

ELAINE:  All your friends?  Mama, who’s left?

MAUDE:  Well, I don’t know . .. . there’s Mrs. Williams . . .

ELAINE:  Mama, she’s laid up in a nursing home.

MAUDE:  Well . . .

ELAINE:  Mama, I’m worried about you!

MAUDE:  Well, Elaine, you’ve always worried too much . . . and about things that weren’t any of your business.

ELAINE:  (hurt)  Mama . . .

MAUDE:  Well, it’s true, isn’t it . . .

ELAINE:  I think you are my business.

MAUDE:  Well . . .

(Long pause)

MAUDE:  Do we have enough potatoes for dinner?  You know, they’re all coming over.  Be what? . . . 15 – 16 of us in all?  Maybe we should see if Andy will go get some potatoes.

ELAINE:  Mama, we’ve got a 20-pound bag – brand new.

MAUDE:  All right.  I guess that’s enough.

ELAINE:  Yeah, I guess . . . Ready for some coffee?

MAUDE:  Yes, please.

(ELAINE pours coffee and gives to MAUDE.  Pause.)

MAUDE:  (getting up)  Here, I can start the pumpkin pies.

ELAINE:  I’ll get right to it, Mama.  I’m just finished with the biscuits.  No need for you to fix the food.  You’re the birthday girl.

MAUDE:  Well, it’s all right.  I’ll just get things started.

ELAINE:  Well . . .